So inadequate

 I have been at my Moms house  since 4pm Wednesday and today is Sunday. I hit a wall today. Can’t stop crying. I feel so guilty because I don’t want to do this. I just want to live my life. She is happy and content but I am miserable. I feel selfish. I’m losing patience. I know she can’t help it  I should be mad at the disease but I am mad at me because I don’t want to hear the same thing over and over  I don’t want to have to repeat myself over and over  I don’t want to end up like her  

She is at a church picnic and wanted me to stay with her and eat. I am sitting in my car crying because if she introduces me and tells them how much she appreciates me I will lose it and confess how bad I am at this.